by Bruce E. Stoker, 2003
See the pages with the fonts ?
Many fonts!
What a cutting edge world of layout their foundries foretell!
How they glimmer, glimmer, glimmer,
On the flat-panel screens of Macs!
While the color-corrected lights that shimmer
Overhead, never dimmer,
While the designer tracks,
Running lines, lines, lines,
In a sort of Gen-X design,
To the phantasmagorical effects that visually taunts
From the fonts, fonts, fonts, fonts,
Fonts, fonts, fonts ?
From the shimmering and the glimmering of the fonts.
II
See the basic portfolio of fonts ?
Approved fonts!
What a world of standardization their similiarity foretells!
Through the ease of layout of stock designs
How the columns twist and wind!
From the serif and sans serif sets
and all in bold,
What homogenous templates
Float from the printer, while designers gloat
over the old!
Oh, from height of ease she vaunts,
What sublimely simple workflow taunts!
Production Wants!
Artist flaunts!
Oh the future, how it daunts!
Giving cause for increased jaunts
To seek the easing and the pleasing
Found in the fonts, fonts, fonts ?
Of the fonts, fonts, fonts, fonts,
Fonts, fonts, fonts ?
Promised pleasure and leisure found in the fonts!
III
See the clutter of the fonts ?
Too many fonts!
What a tale of confusion their legions tell!
In the screens of ATM,
How can one track all of them?
Scads of overwrought eye candy
Vie for notice but blandly, blandly,
All for naught.
In unfulfilled promise of improved legibility,
In vain hopes of increased document portability,
Realizing pure futility, futility, futility,
With lessened profitability,
And a saddened resolution
Now ?now to purge and never
Forget this expensive lesson taught.
Oh, the fonts, fonts, fonts!
What a tale their overuse taunts
Of Despair!
How they rant and rave and boast!
Exulting that you have the most
Of any studio common or rare!
Yet the eye, it fully knows,
By the clutter,
And the flutter,
How the layout weakness shows.
And the mind distinctly taunts,
In the leering,
And the jeering,
How the print time shrinks and grows
By the shrinking or growing of the roster of the fonts
Of the fonts ?
Of the fonts, fonts, fonts, fonts,
Fonts, fonts, fonts ?
In the clutter and the clamor of the fonts!
IV
See the rasterizing of the fonts ?
Cheap fonts!
What a world of ripping nightmares their algorithm compels!
In the pause to PDF
How we wince to see what ?s left
Of the layout; days and weeks we spent!
For with every whir and click
From the spooler that may stick
Is a cent.
And the cost ?ah, the cost ?
The measure by which the jobs are lost,
Is rent.
And is growing, growing, growing,
The budget it is sure to vent,
All the wiggle room it is blowing;
On the down time it is spent.
It is neither man nor woman,
And does not come from press or pressman,
It is inherent;
The source is apparent.
And it deepens, deepens, deepens,
Deepens.
A death knell from the fonts!
And their slick appearance taunts
To build dependance on the fonts!
Drawn to websites nonchalant
Selling more, more, more,
In an all-out graphic war,
To designers who don ?t need fonts,
More fonts,
Buying more, more, more,
Victims of decisions poor,
Of the destitution caused by fonts ?
Of the fonts, fonts, fonts ?
Prostitution to the fonts.
Buying more, more, more,
Skill becomes gaunt, gaunt, gaunt,
Aesthetics lack a special roar,
Due to the dependence upon fonts ?
Upon fonts, fonts, fonts ?
Upon the arrogance of the fonts ?
Of the fonts, fonts, fonts, fonts,
Fonts, fonts, fonts,
To the prevelance and the malevolence of the fonts.