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Last month I wrote that, even though we all have our differences, we ought to submit to one another so that the kingdom of God might grow. Unfortunately, because we value our individuality so much, we often find ourselves passing judgment on each other. While we might give up our own freedom in Christ, we resent those whose faith might be weaker.

In Romans 14:1, Paul wrote: “Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.” Paul is writing to those who have confidence in their faith and who do not stumble over disputable matters, in this case, from verses 2 and 5, food and drink and “holy days.” What if a formerly Jewish Christian decided to celebrate his freedom in Christ on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) by eating a bacon cheeseburger? Do you suppose other formerly Jewish Christians might have a problem with that? What if the bacon had come from a pig that was sacrificed in a pagan temple? Do you suppose other Christians who used to be pagans might have a problem with that?

In the spirit of Romans 14:20, which says, “Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble,” the Christian with stronger faith ought to give up the bacon cheeseburger for the sake of the other Christians. If he gives it up grudgingly and his attitude is a matter of “They need to grow up,” then he is sinning, despite his freedom.

The weaker brother or sister isn’t off the hook, however. If those Christians who have trouble with their brother’s actions insist that he give up his freedom for their sake, because of what the Scriptures say, they have put themselves in the position of having the stronger faith. If they can point to the Scriptures and say, rightfully, “Do not cause anyone to stumble,” they must also be careful not to judge their brother.

Regardless of your starting point, if your attitudes and actions come from the perspective of “my freedom” or “my faith,” it is not coming from the perspective, as Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:31, of doing it for God’s glory. Let’s not destroy God’s work over disputable matters.

Our culture values individuality, which is not necessarily a bad thing. We know from Romans 12 that the body of Christ is made up of different parts; so it’s important that we recognize our differences. However, our culture guards individual differences fiercely, to the point where the differences themselves are more important than what we do with them. While Paul wrote in Romans 12:5 that all members are different, he also wrote that each member “belongs to all the others.” The world would have us believe that we ought to defend our differences, even if it means dividing people. It’s no wonder that the world is in such turmoil over so many selfish things.

Unfortunately, we see this in the church, too. Where our differences ought to be used to build up the body; we use them to tear it down. The church is in turmoil when we focus on our differences rather than on our common goals and purpose. So Paul warns us to change our perspective from ourselves to the body. In Ephesians 5:15-21 he writes: “Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

So, even though Paul knew that we are all different, he directed us to put our differences aside out of our love for Jesus. Even though our differences are important and can be used in important ways to bring people into God’s kingdom and to build up the body of Christ, we need to put others ahead of ourselves. This is more than merely being “nice”; Paul says this is a practical matter. We must submit to others “because the days are evil” and to make the most of every opportunity. If we focus on ourselves, we will miss the opportunity to bring others into the kingdom. If our differences within the church become more important than leading others to Christ, then we have become fools who do not understand what God’s will is. I have a lot to give up; what about you?

Our culture celebrates diversity, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The fact of the matter is that we are a diverse people. We have all kinds of differences among us, and some of them are worthy of celebration–for example, I enjoy celebrating my Scottish-Irish heritage, and I enjoy the (usually) good-natured rivalries over college football.

For some reason, however, once we get into the church, we find ourselves in conflicts over our diversity. We’re different in many ways: economically, educationally, spiritually, racially, musically, etc.; so perhaps some of the conflicts should be expected. However, if we can expect conflicts over differences, we also ought to prepare to deal with them. In Romans 12:16, Paul writes, “Live in harmony with one another.”

When we think of living in harmony, many understand that to mean “identical” in thought or practice. We cannot deny that there are areas in which we ought to be in agreement with each other–for example, Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:5 that there is “one Lord, one faith, one baptism”–but we are also a body made up of individual parts, as Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 12. While I’m not a musical expert, I know that notes that are in harmony with one another are not the same, but they are arranged in a consistent, orderly, and pleasing way.

This is how we ought to live within the church. We don’t all have to have the same interests, backgrounds, or abilities, but we do need to put some effort into being a consistent, orderly, and pleasing church body and using those differences to connect, grow, and serve as a healthy body. I have been in enough choirs to know that harmony sometimes takes a lot of hard work. Paul gives some examples of that work in Romans 12:10-21: honoring others above ourselves; being patient; sharing with others; practicing hospitality; blessing our persecutors; rejoicing and mourning with others; living at peace; not taking revenge; feeding our enemies. Ultimately, when it comes to living in harmony with those who are different from us, it’s a matter of overcoming evil with good. That’s what Jesus did for us; shouldn’t we try to do the same?

The American church seems to be both blessed and cursed by it’s historical and cultural heritage. We are blessed to have grown in a country that was founded upon religious freedom and with a heritage that has been largely Christian in nature. However, our nation’s history of freedom and independence has also been a source of temptation for even the church to be self-centered. These days, our independent nature as Americans has encouraged us to become selfish Christians, thinking that our greatest concerns should be our individual relationship with Jesus.

Paul warned of this in Philippians 2:1-4: “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” While each Christian recognizes the blessings God gives individuals through Christ, Paul wrote that this should lead individuals to look out for each other.

If we have learned anything from the Easter Experience sermons, videos, and small groups, it should be that we have all experienced separation from God and that we all have the same opportunity for individual transformation through Jesus. But it is our common past and our common transformation that should lead us all to share a common interest in each other.

While the world continues to tempt us to look out for ourselves, our transformation through Jesus should lead us to look out for each other. Our shared faith should lead us to shared encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness, and compassion, as verse one reminds us. These shared blessings should lead us, together, to like-minded actions based in love and humility. These are the things that distinguish the church from the rest of the world.

What does fellowship mean to you? For many it’s a matter of getting together, sharing a meal, and having fun with other people. Those are good things; I like those things, and we should be doing more of those things as a church family. However, fellowship in the church should be more than that.

Our Sunday morning Adult Bible Fellowship group is currently going through “BASIC,” a video series about what it means to be the church by Francis Chan, a Christian writer and minister in California. In the episode dealing with fellowship he states that we should have “a fellowship together, a sharing. Not just of thoughts, ideas, but a sharing of everything, to really care for one another.” In the video he referred to Acts 2, where the early church met together regularly and shared meals and studied the teachings of Jesus, and to Acts 4, where the early church shared everything they had with whomever had need. But I that is just the starting point; fellowship is more than getting together and more than sharing what we have.

Paul writes in Galatians 6:2 that we should “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” In this passage, Paul is instructing believers about how to deal with sin problems within the church. He states that by helping each other deal with our sins, we are fulfilling Jesus’ command to love one another.

But how can we bear one another’s burdens if we don’t share our burdens with each other? How can we share our burdens with each other if we don’t know each other well enough to trust each other? We have to make an effort, and the easiest way to begin is with simply getting together.

The Easter Experience groups have been a good first step toward getting to know other people in the church. But we need to keep growing together as a body, as a family. As we wrap up the Easter Experience, consider continuing to meet with your group or even starting a new group. Get together once a week or a few times a month for a meal; pray together; talk about the last sermon together. Keep growing together in love so that those who are not part of the family will long for what we have and decide to follow Jesus and join the family.

I suppose I don’t have to make a very strong argument to convince anyone that we live in a selfish culture. Whether you’ve lost your job or home or whether you have recently tried to fill your car’s gas tank, you have felt the bite of our greedy, selfish culture.

Unfortunately, the church doesn’t seem to be immune. I remember a story from my Bible college days about a church that split over what kind of donuts they served each Sunday morning, powdered sugar versus glazed. While that sounds like an urban legend–and I hope that it is–I wouldn’t be too surprised to find out that it is true. People in churches argue about some pretty inconsequential things, like paint colors, coffee, carpeting. We argue about things that are, perhaps, more important, like Bible school curriculum and styles of music.

It’s nothing new. The early church had arguments about feeding widows, dietary laws, and circumcision. Even our brotherhood of churches–which was formed to restore the unity and example of the New Testament church–split over music, how to support missionaries, and even the deity of Christ and the inerrancy of the Scriptures. Obviously, there are some things that are worthy of discussion and perhaps even arguments, but clearly there are things about which we should not argue.

Personal preferences must be put aside, period. Paul wrote in Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” The next verse gives us our top priority: serving the Lord. So everything else is secondary. To be honest, there is just too much work to be done in the Kingdom to worry about our own personal preferences. Is it OK to have preferences? Sure, but those preferences should never take precedence over actual worship, evangelism, prayer, discipleship, etc. Those preferences should never be the deciding factor when it comes to whether you will serve or participate in any given ministry opportunity of the church.

The life and activity of the church should reflect the one who sacrificed everything for us selfish people. When it comes to serving God, we must devote ourselves not to ourselves but to each other so that others might benefit from our sacrifices and ultimately Jesus’ sacrifice.

The core of any church’s ministry is relationships. Our vision is to be a family of disciples of Jesus who make more disciples, and our strategy for doing that is to connect people to God and other people, to grow in our faith and knowledge of Jesus, and to serve like Jesus. All of that depends upon our abilities to form and nurture relationships, and that means we must meet together.

Hebrews 10:25 encourages us in this saying, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” This is the verse that we like to use to convince people that they to be in church on Sunday mornings (and yes, you really ought to be here), but the verse should convince us that our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ is of eternal importance.

Initially, the writer of Hebrews points out that meeting together is a matter of encouraging one another. Then he amplifies this by referring to “the Day,” when Jesus will return; in other words, as Jesus’ return gets closer, we should encourage each other even more. And to do that, he says, we must meet together.

Do you need more encouragement these days? Who doesn’t? God knows that we need encouragement in our faith and in our daily lives; he knows it because he made us for relationships. Acts 2:46 tells us that the early church met together daily, both in the temple courts and in their homes. They ate together, and they praised together. Verses 44, 45 say that they even shared everything they owned in common and that gave to anyone who had needs. That’s encouragement.

Since we know that we need encouragement and since we know that every moment Jesus’ return is closer, shouldn’t we work on meeting together more? If we look at the attendance figures, we can see that are starting to form bad habits of not meeting together. Let’s reverse the trend and meet together to encourage each other. By all means, make it a habit to worship together on Sunday morning, but also try to meet with smaller groups, both in the church in study groups and outside the church in home-based groups. The Day is coming; let’s be ready!

Depending upon your resources, common wisdom says that it takes between six and ten weeks to form a habit. For those whose New Year’s resolutions have led them to try to form some better habits, you’re hitting that “sweet spot,” which means your efforts are probably swinging wildly between success and failure. Those who are trying to get more exercise are finding it easier to get outside these days, but that’s unusual for this time of year; normally we’re starting to feel that edginess that comes with mid-winter “cabin fever.” This reminds me of a quote from that famous writer, Author Unknown: “The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!”

It’s not just the winter blahs that make us a little cranky; sometimes we just get on each other’s nerves. It’s understandable; you know what people are like, right? It’s especially true about families, even church families. Unfortunately, what could be simple human nature all too easily becomes a bad habit of complaining about others. James 5:9 says: “Don’t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged.” There are many ways that we interact with each other that might cause our personalities, our backgrounds, or our skills and knowledge to come in conflict with each other, but God’s Word tells us that we must not let those disagreements turn into grumbling or complaining about each other.

Rather, we should take Paul’s advice from 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” What I like most about this statement is that Paul is encouraging his readers to be encouraging. In addition to that, he points out that his readers already have a habit of encouraging and building each other up. That’s what the church should be like, brothers and sisters encouraging each other as God continues to transform us and as we work together to share the Good News of salvation and transformation through Jesus. Keep up the good work; keep building those good habits; and keep on encouraging each other as we all continue to grow in our faith and knowledge of Jesus.

Did you make any resolutions for the new year? About this time, many people who have made New Year’s resolutions are finding it very difficult to keep their resolutions. We’re a few weeks into the new year, and the changes we made on January 1 are starting to wear thin. Perhaps you’re not sticking to the new diet or the new exercise regimen. Perhaps your new budget is slipping. Perhaps you have already gotten behind on your plan to read the Bible in a year. Whatever your goals might be, the first two months are often the most difficult because you’re trying to develop new habits.

Life change is difficult, especially when you’re trying to make changes on your own. I’m sure most of us understand that we need to trust God when it comes to making changes in our lives, but it seems that many of us don’t understand that we really need to get other people involved in our lives to help us make changes.

James 5:16 tells us, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” Sure, James mentions confessing sins to each other so we can pray for each other, but really, who among us is willing to share our sins when we hesitate to share the rest of our lives with others?

While only God can truly affect change in our lives, it’s pretty clear that we are responsible to help each other through those changes. Even when God makes changes in our lives, we need not only to confess our sins to each other but to encourage each other when we have triumphed over our struggles, when we have resisted temptation.

While we head into the last few weeks of developing habits to change the way we live–to God’s glory, right?–let us help each other by holding each other accountable. Let’s get to know our brothers and sisters in Christ in such a way that we can work through the struggles of a new diet, so that we can become more regular in our exercise routines, so that we can become more faithful in our Bible study habits.

The first church was an “unusual” group of people. Acts 2:44-47 says that “All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”

They were unusual, at least in my mind, because they had a sense of community that is uncommon today. Christians are known widely for their generosity and love, but this kind of community is rare, even among Christians. For the most part, we do not meet together daily, sharing meals regularly, sharing our possessions as if they were not our own. Our culture would find this strange behavior, and we are likely to agree. As much as we might love our brothers and sisters in Christ, most of us like to protect “our space.”

Perhaps it’s our understanding of what it means to love one another, as Jesus commanded in John 13:34: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” This has to be important to Jesus; he repeats the command in John 15:12, 17. How did Jesus love us? Sacrificially. He loved us to the point of dying for us.

While I’m not expecting any of us to encounter circumstances where we might have the choice of dying for our brothers and sisters in Christ, I know that there are other circumstances in life when we might have the opportunity to love sacrificially. Paul explains it like this in Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Generosity is often an expression of our love out of the excess of what we have; sacrificial love gives regardless of what we have, as if to our own family, as if the other person is more important than ourselves.

In this new year, let us work on loving each other in this way. Let us make Paul’s words in 1 Thessalonians 3:12 our prayer for the year: “May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.”